So I'm growing up. I'm learning. I've learned so much lately about trust and relationships. I've decided that I really don't give a crap what people think about me. I don't care about appearances, as in what things "look" like.
I don't care how people see my life. I care how I live my life.
So many people worry about what things look like to other people. So much so that I think people like to keep up appearances rather than just be real. BE REAL. Stop judging people. I am so over judgmental people. I am not perfect, I'm totally being a hypocrite-its easy to judge!
Its hard to do this, but I am so enjoying the freedom of doing whatever the hell I want without obligation, without over thinking, without fear of what people think. Honestly I think if more people were just respectful, kind, and stopped judging and started being real we would all be much happier people. MUCH.
Really that's it. That's my epiphany.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
5 weeks until vacation.
Holy crap its almost July. Honestly, this blog just makes me feel like life is speeding by because I only update every 6 months. How terrible. I don't even feel bad anymore for not updating! Really, my life is pretty normal, I like it and its not crazy exciting, so every 6 months is about right.
René and I are about to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary next month!
So an update on the paleo thing-not for us, I mean really not for us! It raised some health issues with my husband and he was pretty much told ummm no this might be the worst diet ever for you. (I paraphrased...doctors don't really talk like that, believe I know I work for them!) We just generally try to eat healthy at this point. I am not so overly concerned with the number on the scale for me, just the way I feel. The reality is the way I feel usually correlates with what I weigh because I usually weigh more when I eat crap and therefore feel terrible. Makes sense, right!? Add all this to my insatiable need for sugar and you've got a real daily battle on your hands. If there was an award for creative ways to make dessert without it being fattening or high in calories I would win, hands down. I am the master of making dessert that's not actually dessert.
I also don't want to be an overweight, out of shape person whenever we decided to add to our family. I've come up with "add to our family" as a not so in your face way of saying....I want baby. I say it like a caveman because its almost like a caveman instinct. One week you're all-omg kids are crazy. Then the next week you think, awww babies! Welcome to ladydom. I dislike when people say you cannot plan for babies or there is no "right time" for a baby. I disagree. You may not being able to plan when you get pregnant or what sex the baby will be, but you can plan for a time in your life when you're ready for these things. Hey, I'm not hypocrite-I was a teen mom, talk about NOT PLANNING, I learned a lesson. The older I get (boring) the more I think about finances and time and what my abilities are and are not and the current children I already have a commitment to. I believe at this point in my life I am being responsible and no matter what I feel about others, I can't control them, I can only control me. I could go on and on, I could get political...but I won't!
Work is work. That is all. I am not changing the world. I am making money to support my family.
I've been living here in Texas for almost a year and a half now. It still doesn't feel 100% like home, but it's getting there. I still refer to the east coast, Delaware and Maryland as my home and I miss it... a lot. Thank goodness for friends near and far to keep me sane, my husband included. I am even more grateful for my relationships back home because it is so nice to have someone know you without explanation. To really know you and who you are. I have very few friends here in Texas but the ones I do have were given to me for a reason and I'm grateful for that too.Relationships are hard work, marriage is the hardest. I can't understand why people do it more than once. Life is generally about being a good person and making mistakes are part of that. I make mistakes everyday, we all do. No one is perfect and I'm ok with that. I think I've gotten more outspoken and less worried about hurting peoples feelings or being politically correct or whatever. I am who I am.
As for the title....René and I are going on vacation in 5 weeks for our anniversary. Its sort of a surprise for him. I am prettttttttttty excited.
René and I are about to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary next month!
So an update on the paleo thing-not for us, I mean really not for us! It raised some health issues with my husband and he was pretty much told ummm no this might be the worst diet ever for you. (I paraphrased...doctors don't really talk like that, believe I know I work for them!) We just generally try to eat healthy at this point. I am not so overly concerned with the number on the scale for me, just the way I feel. The reality is the way I feel usually correlates with what I weigh because I usually weigh more when I eat crap and therefore feel terrible. Makes sense, right!? Add all this to my insatiable need for sugar and you've got a real daily battle on your hands. If there was an award for creative ways to make dessert without it being fattening or high in calories I would win, hands down. I am the master of making dessert that's not actually dessert.
I also don't want to be an overweight, out of shape person whenever we decided to add to our family. I've come up with "add to our family" as a not so in your face way of saying....I want baby. I say it like a caveman because its almost like a caveman instinct. One week you're all-omg kids are crazy. Then the next week you think, awww babies! Welcome to ladydom. I dislike when people say you cannot plan for babies or there is no "right time" for a baby. I disagree. You may not being able to plan when you get pregnant or what sex the baby will be, but you can plan for a time in your life when you're ready for these things. Hey, I'm not hypocrite-I was a teen mom, talk about NOT PLANNING, I learned a lesson. The older I get (boring) the more I think about finances and time and what my abilities are and are not and the current children I already have a commitment to. I believe at this point in my life I am being responsible and no matter what I feel about others, I can't control them, I can only control me. I could go on and on, I could get political...but I won't!
Work is work. That is all. I am not changing the world. I am making money to support my family.
I've been living here in Texas for almost a year and a half now. It still doesn't feel 100% like home, but it's getting there. I still refer to the east coast, Delaware and Maryland as my home and I miss it... a lot. Thank goodness for friends near and far to keep me sane, my husband included. I am even more grateful for my relationships back home because it is so nice to have someone know you without explanation. To really know you and who you are. I have very few friends here in Texas but the ones I do have were given to me for a reason and I'm grateful for that too.Relationships are hard work, marriage is the hardest. I can't understand why people do it more than once. Life is generally about being a good person and making mistakes are part of that. I make mistakes everyday, we all do. No one is perfect and I'm ok with that. I think I've gotten more outspoken and less worried about hurting peoples feelings or being politically correct or whatever. I am who I am.
As for the title....René and I are going on vacation in 5 weeks for our anniversary. Its sort of a surprise for him. I am prettttttttttty excited.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Merry 2013.
Its a new year! There is something awesome about a brand new year. It *feels* like a clean slate, but really its not. We are still responsible for 2012 and all the mistakes and even great decisions we made. Would it be nice to actually have a clean slate? Sometimes I think yes...but mostly no. Why would you want to erase anything, even the bad stuff?
I've never made a resolution before, but this year I have. René and I made a life resolution, so we count on it going bast the new year and past the year in general. We decided to stop the madness and just get healthy. Its been a long time coming. I've talked about it in the past and its always been such a struggle for me. After much research and planning we decided to cut out all grains, sugar, and dairy from our diet. You might know this as....Paleo. Haha it sounds like a fad when I say it but really its just going back to the day when we didn't have access to all the junk food! Ah junk food, I love and hate you. I have a sugar addiction and this is not a a joke. For as long as I can remember Tastykake and Little Debbie have been my BFF's. Salt does little for me...but sugar? Oh sugar, I love you. TODAY is day one, and its 11:30am and I'm wondering how to make the next month speed up so that I can just get to a point where this is a habit. I have never been overweight, however- I am unhealthy, sluggish and gross feeling. I have headaches a lot, my skin has gotten worse over the past year, my hair is even suffering from lack of nutrition. Also-I HATE water. Drinking water is the biggest chore to me. I have to force myself to hydrate. Lastly, I do not like working out and I'll be honest with you...I probably won't work out with any regularity or at all! Haha hows that for motivation? Its all about food for me. I love food but I plan to love it differently now! Ok so now you know and you wont offer me sweets unless its Saturday...because did I mention our cheat day? Saturday! I have conditioned my step son already to know that Saturday is where its at...no more weeknight dessert. This bummed him out a little bit, but at age 4, he is already making plans for his Saturday treat.
I really am nerdily excited for this year for health among other things.
I want to work on communicating with my friends and family on a more regular basis too here and at home. I am going home in March, hopefully for the whole week so I can really spend some time with people. I hope I get some visits this year too!
I went home for Christmas and while I did see a lot of people, I missed seeing a few important people and I'm still bummed about it. Long distance is still hard. I've gotten used to it on one level but I realize you have to put a lot more effort into relationships and sometimes its difficult.
2012 was a giant transition. I moved to Texas and like I said before-I am still getting used to it. I love my life here and I miss "home" too. I wonder if I will always feel this way? When I went home for Christmas, nothing had changed really. People hadn't changed more importantly which made me happy. Life goes on without me, but I still fit in with my friends and family. I'm still anxious about being away, but its getting better!
Here's to a happy, healthy, exciting, fun, fulfilling 2013!
I've never made a resolution before, but this year I have. René and I made a life resolution, so we count on it going bast the new year and past the year in general. We decided to stop the madness and just get healthy. Its been a long time coming. I've talked about it in the past and its always been such a struggle for me. After much research and planning we decided to cut out all grains, sugar, and dairy from our diet. You might know this as....Paleo. Haha it sounds like a fad when I say it but really its just going back to the day when we didn't have access to all the junk food! Ah junk food, I love and hate you. I have a sugar addiction and this is not a a joke. For as long as I can remember Tastykake and Little Debbie have been my BFF's. Salt does little for me...but sugar? Oh sugar, I love you. TODAY is day one, and its 11:30am and I'm wondering how to make the next month speed up so that I can just get to a point where this is a habit. I have never been overweight, however- I am unhealthy, sluggish and gross feeling. I have headaches a lot, my skin has gotten worse over the past year, my hair is even suffering from lack of nutrition. Also-I HATE water. Drinking water is the biggest chore to me. I have to force myself to hydrate. Lastly, I do not like working out and I'll be honest with you...I probably won't work out with any regularity or at all! Haha hows that for motivation? Its all about food for me. I love food but I plan to love it differently now! Ok so now you know and you wont offer me sweets unless its Saturday...because did I mention our cheat day? Saturday! I have conditioned my step son already to know that Saturday is where its at...no more weeknight dessert. This bummed him out a little bit, but at age 4, he is already making plans for his Saturday treat.
I really am nerdily excited for this year for health among other things.
I want to work on communicating with my friends and family on a more regular basis too here and at home. I am going home in March, hopefully for the whole week so I can really spend some time with people. I hope I get some visits this year too!
I went home for Christmas and while I did see a lot of people, I missed seeing a few important people and I'm still bummed about it. Long distance is still hard. I've gotten used to it on one level but I realize you have to put a lot more effort into relationships and sometimes its difficult.
2012 was a giant transition. I moved to Texas and like I said before-I am still getting used to it. I love my life here and I miss "home" too. I wonder if I will always feel this way? When I went home for Christmas, nothing had changed really. People hadn't changed more importantly which made me happy. Life goes on without me, but I still fit in with my friends and family. I'm still anxious about being away, but its getting better!
Here's to a happy, healthy, exciting, fun, fulfilling 2013!
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